Lately

I feel like I have been on an emotional rollercoaster lately. I have some good days and some bad days. I have days where I want to crawl into bed and days where I want to go skydiving. I know everyone has these days and I just want to know what they do. I listen to music and try to stay calm. I try to relax and close my eyes. I like to sit back in my chair with my coffee and just take a moment to breathe. Sometimes, I think as Americans, we forget to breathe. I hear about all these other places and cultures who take time to relax, they don't feel like they are in a rush every day and every minute, and they breathe. Maybe I should go to a monk monastery for a while and learn to breathe and relax. =) If only it were that easy.
I felt the feeling of anxiety for the first time in February. That was a crazy feeling. I thought I was having a panic attack or a heart attack. I feel so bad for people who have that often. I know my life isn't falling a part... it is just changing... a new chapter. I need to start thinking positive. I need to be open and mindful of others. I know there are a lot of other people going through hard times and I want to be there for them, no matter what is going on in my life.
Thank you for the people who have been there for me and no matter how much I try to push them out, they show me that I am still "very MUCH loved". You are truly amazing and such a blessing to me. I know I will get through this.

I will try smiling today. A real smile and not a fake one. =)