Psalms 11-16

11:1 "In the Lord I put my trust;" 13:3 "Consider and hear me, O Lord my God; Enlighten my eyes,...5 But I have trusted in Your mercy; My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord, because He has dealt bountifully with me." 16:1 "Preserve me, O God, for in You I put my trust."

This week has been hard and it is only Monday. =) I guess I should say weekend. Saturday my mom left back to Washington and I had a little "encounter" with Julius. Then Sunday was nice but ended pretty sad. Now today, even though I was busy and on the go, I find that I can't get this lump out of my throat. Actually, it is in my chest, and in my heart, and in my mind, and it makes me feel sick to my stomach. I recently gave advice on making decisions and right choices. Ironic, right? I know no one ever makes all the right choices... but we must try, yes? I had to make a really hard choice... in fact, many hard choices. They leave me sad and lonely, but in the end it is the right choice. ? . I wonder... how do we really know? How can we make sure that this choice will lead to happiness in the future? We don't. We have no idea what our future holds from next year, next month, not even in the next 10 minutes. We can assume or guess... but we never know for sure. So we make decisions... choices that can lead us down one path or the other. How do we make these choices? Psalms is telling me that we need to trust God.

Why in the world is this so hard?! Why can't I just say, God, here... I don't know what to do so please make the decision for me. Thanks! I am done trying to make decisions on my own. I am really going to pray and seek what the Lord wants me to do. Even when it is the hardest, most difficult, most heart-breaking decision... I just pray it is the right one God wants me to make. I also pray that He will help me get through the day.

Lord, you know my heart. You know my heartache. You know my long nights and my tears that reach my pillow. I pray that you heal me and those broken around me. I pray that you lead me down the right path. I pray you take me on the journey that leads to righteousness and happiness. I pray that I grow closer to you and continue to long for your friendship and love. Please forgive me for trying to do everything on my own. Forgive me for trying to take my life in my own hands and being so hard and cold to those around me. I thank you for all you do. In Jesus name, Amen.

Song of the week: Glad You Came-The Wanted
This song has been on repeat and has been in my head... "My universe will never be the same."