Psalms 2

8"Ask of Me, and I will give You the nations for your inheritance, and the ends of the earth for your possessions. 10 Now therefore, be wise, O kings; Be instructed,... 11 Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling. 12...Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him."
I know I have always had to put my trust in Him, but I never did. I battle so much with trying to do things my way or trusting what I think is right for me. I struggle with giving that up to God yet I give it so easily to others. I let people around me control what I do, what I say, who I can and cannot talk to... I go back and forth about who I should make happy and who can make me happy. But really, it is God I should be pleasing. I know that if I turn to God and really trust Him with my heart and my life, He will bless me. He will rejoice. I need to serve Him and only Him right now. I am tired of being dormant and incompliant to Christ. I know that I have broken hearts and really hurt people and for that, I am truly sorry. Although, I am mostly sorry for breaking my Father in Heaven's heart. How many times was I at the altar telling you I am ready to change, I am ready to turn my life around, I am ready to put you first... yet I never did. I am ready to take that step. I know it is going to be a long and hard road, but Lord, I want to put you first.
It is necessary for us to suffer to draw closer to God... I know this now. I heard a pastor once say, God's work of art includes many colors-both dark and bright; therefore, our lives include both dark and bright times. We still need to turn to Him through all times and that is what I am ready to do. I know that I shouldn't run from Him during time of distress but to rejoice because it is time for refinement. 1 Peter 1:7 says "that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ." I will be tested by fire over and over again, but I will become precious and pure as gold when He is done with me.

I need to trust God during my time of distress... this will help my roots grow strong in the Lord and He will continue to be by my side.
Lord, please forgive me for not coming to you sooner. Please forgive me for trying to take life into my own hands. I am drowning without you. Please help me to be the daughter you want me to be. I am crying out to you Lord to accept my hand and to teach me and hold me. Thank you for never turning away from me or abandoning me. I love you Lord and I know there is hope for me. Thank you for your mercy, grace, and healing. In Jesus name, Amen.

Song of the day: Third Day: Cry out to Jesus