These chapters have been on my heart the whole weekend. 4:1 "Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness: thou hast enlarged me when I was in distress; have mercy upon me, and hear my prayer. 5:3 My voice shalt thou hear in the morning, O Lord; in the morning will I direct my prayer unto thee, and will look up. 6:2 Have mercy upon me, O Lord; for I am weak: O Lord, heal me; for my bones are vexed. 4 Return, O Lord, deliver my soul: oh save me for they mercies' sake. 6 I am weary with my groaning; all the night make I my bed to swim; I water my couch with tears. 9 The Lord hath heard my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer. 7:1 O Lord my God, in thee do I put my turst: save me from all them that persecute me, and deliver me: 17 I will praise the Lord according to his righteousness: and will sing praise to the name of the Lord most high."
This weekend was really hard for me because I had Julius' birthday and then a surprise visit from my mom. I am so lucky to have her here; yes, but at the same time, I have such a hard time with her. I pray that God will give me the patience and strength to get through this week. Lord, I know you hear my every thought and word. I pray that you deliver me from my own self... deliver me from what I am familiar with and help me to be renewed by your Spirit. I want to be that happy woman again. I want to be confident and secure. Lord, be with me through this troubled time.
Songs of the Day: Your Name by The Swift
Grace Like Rain by Todd Agnew
Safe and Sound by Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars
P.S. Thanks to my sweet neice Taryn for reading my thoughts and prayers. I love you so much and appreciate your every word and of course that smile. =) Love you!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Psalms 3
I really needed this book today. I woke up different and not ready for the day, but once I opened my Bible, God knew this is what I needed to hear.
3 "But you, O Lord, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head. 4 I cried to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill." I don't even need to explain what this means to me. 6 "I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around."
Lord, you hear my cries and my heart. You know what I need and strive for. You are always there and you comfort me. Thank you God for being my rock to stand on. Thank you God for keeping me going every day. Thank you for your mercy and forgiveness.
3 "But you, O Lord, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head. 4 I cried to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill." I don't even need to explain what this means to me. 6 "I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around."
Lord, you hear my cries and my heart. You know what I need and strive for. You are always there and you comfort me. Thank you God for being my rock to stand on. Thank you God for keeping me going every day. Thank you for your mercy and forgiveness.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Psalms 2
8"Ask of Me, and I will give You the nations for your inheritance, and the ends of the earth for your possessions. 10 Now therefore, be wise, O kings; Be instructed,... 11 Serve the Lord with fear, and rejoice with trembling. 12...Blessed are all those who put their trust in Him."
I know I have always had to put my trust in Him, but I never did. I battle so much with trying to do things my way or trusting what I think is right for me. I struggle with giving that up to God yet I give it so easily to others. I let people around me control what I do, what I say, who I can and cannot talk to... I go back and forth about who I should make happy and who can make me happy. But really, it is God I should be pleasing. I know that if I turn to God and really trust Him with my heart and my life, He will bless me. He will rejoice. I need to serve Him and only Him right now. I am tired of being dormant and incompliant to Christ. I know that I have broken hearts and really hurt people and for that, I am truly sorry. Although, I am mostly sorry for breaking my Father in Heaven's heart. How many times was I at the altar telling you I am ready to change, I am ready to turn my life around, I am ready to put you first... yet I never did. I am ready to take that step. I know it is going to be a long and hard road, but Lord, I want to put you first.
It is necessary for us to suffer to draw closer to God... I know this now. I heard a pastor once say, God's work of art includes many colors-both dark and bright; therefore, our lives include both dark and bright times. We still need to turn to Him through all times and that is what I am ready to do. I know that I shouldn't run from Him during time of distress but to rejoice because it is time for refinement. 1 Peter 1:7 says "that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ." I will be tested by fire over and over again, but I will become precious and pure as gold when He is done with me.
I need to trust God during my time of distress... this will help my roots grow strong in the Lord and He will continue to be by my side.
Lord, please forgive me for not coming to you sooner. Please forgive me for trying to take life into my own hands. I am drowning without you. Please help me to be the daughter you want me to be. I am crying out to you Lord to accept my hand and to teach me and hold me. Thank you for never turning away from me or abandoning me. I love you Lord and I know there is hope for me. Thank you for your mercy, grace, and healing. In Jesus name, Amen.
Song of the day: Third Day: Cry out to Jesus
I know I have always had to put my trust in Him, but I never did. I battle so much with trying to do things my way or trusting what I think is right for me. I struggle with giving that up to God yet I give it so easily to others. I let people around me control what I do, what I say, who I can and cannot talk to... I go back and forth about who I should make happy and who can make me happy. But really, it is God I should be pleasing. I know that if I turn to God and really trust Him with my heart and my life, He will bless me. He will rejoice. I need to serve Him and only Him right now. I am tired of being dormant and incompliant to Christ. I know that I have broken hearts and really hurt people and for that, I am truly sorry. Although, I am mostly sorry for breaking my Father in Heaven's heart. How many times was I at the altar telling you I am ready to change, I am ready to turn my life around, I am ready to put you first... yet I never did. I am ready to take that step. I know it is going to be a long and hard road, but Lord, I want to put you first.
It is necessary for us to suffer to draw closer to God... I know this now. I heard a pastor once say, God's work of art includes many colors-both dark and bright; therefore, our lives include both dark and bright times. We still need to turn to Him through all times and that is what I am ready to do. I know that I shouldn't run from Him during time of distress but to rejoice because it is time for refinement. 1 Peter 1:7 says "that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ." I will be tested by fire over and over again, but I will become precious and pure as gold when He is done with me.
I need to trust God during my time of distress... this will help my roots grow strong in the Lord and He will continue to be by my side.
Lord, please forgive me for not coming to you sooner. Please forgive me for trying to take life into my own hands. I am drowning without you. Please help me to be the daughter you want me to be. I am crying out to you Lord to accept my hand and to teach me and hold me. Thank you for never turning away from me or abandoning me. I love you Lord and I know there is hope for me. Thank you for your mercy, grace, and healing. In Jesus name, Amen.
Song of the day: Third Day: Cry out to Jesus
Monday, February 20, 2012
Psalms 1
1 "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly..." Well, I think God is saying good morning to me. I have made a decision that I need to get back in the Word. I have realized that I am not the girl I used to be and I need help. I need God's help. It's funny because I always hear the Pastor talking about witnessing and telling people, "that thing you are missing and longing for is Christ". I have spent the past year thinking about what is wrong with me. I have been unhappy and have blaming it on all kinds of things... but the truth is, I don't have a relationship with God and that's what makes me unhappy. The only thing I can do is make an effort to reach out my hand to Him. Why have I been so blind to not see it before? Why was it so hard for me to rely on God?
3 "He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper." I want to be like this tree that will grow and prosper. I want to grow with Christ and teach my boys to grow in Christ and to know that God is always by their side. I want to be planted by the rivers of water, not out in the desert trying to get every last drop of water. I don't want to dry out. I want to grow luscious green with fresh fruit and roots that are healthy and strong. I want to be strong to put away my childish acts and to focus on Christ.
6 "For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the ungodly shall perish." I want the Lord to know me. I want Him to bless my life and those that are a part of it. I want Christ to show me His unconditional and everlasting love. I want to feel His arms wrapped around me to keep me safe and to warm my heart. I don't want to feel alone anymore. I don't want to feel ungodly. I don't want to perish. I know that one day I will be with Christ and will have to answer to Him. I don't want to feel guilty or unworthy when I see His face.
Lord, please forgive my ungodly actions. Please open my heart to love you and open my eyes to see you. I have been gripping my heart so hard and so close saying that I will protect it.... but I need to offer it up to you. I trust you oh Lord. please, take this sadness from me.
3 "He shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth its fruit in its season, whose leaf also shall not wither; and whatever he does shall prosper." I want to be like this tree that will grow and prosper. I want to grow with Christ and teach my boys to grow in Christ and to know that God is always by their side. I want to be planted by the rivers of water, not out in the desert trying to get every last drop of water. I don't want to dry out. I want to grow luscious green with fresh fruit and roots that are healthy and strong. I want to be strong to put away my childish acts and to focus on Christ.
6 "For the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the ungodly shall perish." I want the Lord to know me. I want Him to bless my life and those that are a part of it. I want Christ to show me His unconditional and everlasting love. I want to feel His arms wrapped around me to keep me safe and to warm my heart. I don't want to feel alone anymore. I don't want to feel ungodly. I don't want to perish. I know that one day I will be with Christ and will have to answer to Him. I don't want to feel guilty or unworthy when I see His face.
Lord, please forgive my ungodly actions. Please open my heart to love you and open my eyes to see you. I have been gripping my heart so hard and so close saying that I will protect it.... but I need to offer it up to you. I trust you oh Lord. please, take this sadness from me.
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