Life... all at once!

Sometimes I just look at this blog and wonder why I still write on here. Then, I realize it's because I like to write. I don't have internet at home right now, so I can't get on FB... therefore, I am using this to be my outlet... for a little while at least. Yesterday, I had a very small breakdown. I was watching "The Ugly Truth" and got very sad. Not because it was a sad movie, but because I envied how happy she seemed to be. Such a big smile and all giddy inside. It reminded me of the days when I first started dating and was so infatuated with a boy. Now, don't get me wrong.... I am happy and I absolutely LOVE my husband and family. I just miss those butterflies and excitement. With Julius and being pregnant, my feelings and emotions are ALL over the place and directed in different directions. There is happiness in my life, but there is also sadness. There are parts of me that are missing and there are people in my life that I miss dearly. It's so hard to try and please everyone and please myself. I love everyone in my life right now but I miss so many at the same time. There are people I want to talk to and can't, there are those who I will never get to talk to again, and there are some who I can't talk to just because of who they are a part of. This is all to make my life better and happier right? Yes, life isn't fair, I know... but when can we all just get over everything? When can we all just be happy and forgive?
Anyways, Julius' second birthday is coming up! We can't wait... he is already doing such a great job with learning how to pee and poop in the potty and communicates somewhat well. =) I love when he yells, "mom" all day long. Then he wants to show me something or tell me something that most of the time I can't understand. Like this morning, he wanted to watch "Finding Nemo", his new favorite movie... and I was getting ready for work. He ran down the hall yelling, "mom, mom,..." and then grabbed my hand and said, "shark!". It was the cutest thing ever. So I followed him to the living room where he proceeded to point and yell, "shark, mom, shark!" =) It made it a great start to my day.
Well, I hope everyone enjoyed the Superbowl!!! We had a great time with just the three of us! PJ came home from work at 4pm and we started the game with Hot Buffalo Wings and Nachos!!! It was delicious... and I LOVED my cherry coke that he bought me... =) We ended the victorious day of watching the Steelers lose with reading to Julius and cuddling on the bed. All 3 (well 4 with Justus in my belly) of us and then went to bed. I love family time and can't wait for our addition to be here!